When your YES starts running you vs YOU running it.

I did something I’ve never done before. You might think it’s crazy. At first I did too, maybe that’s why I went for it.

I decided to NOT check social media. Yup. Went rogue; off the radar; no warning, just stepped away.

T, why on earth would you do that??

A little back story…

We were on vacation this summer visiting our family (it’s BIG) at the beach like we do every year. I was sitting on the deck at sunset watching my kids chase their cousins, the sky looking like a painting, and I felt a level of peace I’d been craving. I thought, ‘All I want to do this summer is THIS- enjoy my kids, have fun in the sun, and spend quality time with family we don’t see often enough’.

For most people that’s a no-brainer. Isn’t that what vacation’s for? Detach, relax, be free of responsibility.

Only I didn’t feel that.

I thought back to last summer and how much time I spent on zoom calls, batching content, engaging, etc. These are some of the realities of mompreneurship in the online space these days. Not bad, just how it is and I had a sinking feeling that I had things mixed up. I was missing it.

I didn’t want to do that again, but I felt like I had to; like I had NO CHOICE.

Because if I didn’t keep up the frantic pace I’d been going at my business, team, following, etc would fall apart.

These were my thoughts.

But then I had another thought: ‘Is that really true?’ It felt like God was tapping me on the shoulder giving me the stink eye like, “You know you can choose differently, right? Why don’t you try and see what happens?”

So I decided to go for it and tune out for a week and just see what happened. I didn’t check the ‘gram or facebook and automated work communication.

At first I felt anxious, like I was missing out on something important.

But after a week, I didn’t feel ready to turn it back on. So I didn’t.

One week turned into another and another. Until now. Here we are…8 weeks later! I know.

That either just gave you heart palpitations OR you just let out a massive sigh of ‘I feel that’ relief.

It seems so obvious that we’re the only ones responsible for what we say YES to. But in today’s non-stop world where everything is “important” and vying for your time, energy & attention, it’s very easy to get wrapped up in too much DOING and lose sight of why you said YES to start with.

I’d been saying YES to a lot of things and felt like I had NO CHOICE to step back or say ‘not right now’ because of the one thing that’s probably driving you too: FEAR.

Fear of missing out (we’re all very familiar with FOMO)

Fear of looking like a failure

Fear of what people would think or letting my team down

Fear of becoming obsolete

Can you relate?

FEAR can be pretty persuasive. It was stopping me from being honest with myself about what I could handle and had me pushing harder, doing more, feeling so overwhelmed. I was working to build a life of freedom and felt less FREE than ever.

What I couldn’t see until I stepped back was that everything I said YES to meant I was also saying NO to something else like personal time, play with my kids, focusing on my marriage and enjoying life versus plowing through it.

My family was getting my leftovers.

Ouch.

Here’s what I learned by taking a step back:

Nothing major changed by not showing up online everyday. The ones who went away weren’t my people.

FOMO is big bully. I didn’t miss anything that TRULY needed my upclose attention.

Attaching personal worth to DOING all the things is unhealthy, exhausting, and unfulfilling.

For the first time in a long time I felt FREE to choose how my day flowed and 100% at peace with it.

My shoulders relaxed.

I played with my kids without feeling distracted.

I let myself slow down which- I’ll admit- can be uncomfortable if you’re used to going all the time.

I took pictures for memories vs posting.

I loosened my grip and said YES to what felt right and NO to what ‘I should’ be doing.

It’s OK to take a break. It’s healthy to set personal boundaries. And truthfully it’s your responsibility to honor your priorities and make intentional choices about what you say YES to.

If you’re feeling STUCK and unable to change course, ask yourself 2 simple questions:

What am I currently giving my BEST to? (time, energy, attention, resources)

and

Why?

If fear’s behind your motivation be open to exploring that. You’d be surprised how often it’s at the root of why we’re over-committed and afraid to shift things up even though we know something’s off.

There’s a lot vying for your time and energy.

Give yourself permission and a resounding YES to step back and get clear so you can live the life you dream of, not just imagine it.

I’d love to hear from you if you try it!

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